BATON ROUGE — Two domestic violence cases in as many days. Two women dead. Two men who turned the gun on themselves and an unspoken number of children left to carry invisible scars.
Monday morning, Baker Police responded to Tristian Avenue for reports of a shooting. A woman was found dead inside a home. Her boyfriend had a gunshot wound to the head and was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Investigators say he shot her before trying to kill himself.
The attempted murder-suicide came just 24 hours after a similar case in Central, where a man killed his girlfriend, then himself. He had bonded out only six weeks earlier after being arrested for domestic battery against that same woman.
These tragedies are part of a bigger, persistent crisis in Louisiana. The state ranks 5th in the nation for women murdered by men, with a rate 85% higher than the national average, according to the Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence. From 2020 to 2022, 181 Louisianans were killed in intimate partner violence incidents — three out of every four involving a firearm.
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A Child’s Perspective | “You’re always battling mentally”
While statistics tell one side of the story, Martha (name changed for her safety) wants women in abusive relationships to consider the view their children see from inside the home.
“About nine years old is when I started to realize there was a problem,” Martha recalls. “It became really hostile. There were always arguments…my dad would go ballistic. My older sister would take us outside to hide because it got so bad.”
Her parents divorced, but the abuse didn’t stop. Custody exchanges had to be made at a police station because of her father’s harassment.
“It was always mind games,” she said. “He’d question us, tell us things about my mom that no child should hear, trying to turn us against her.”
Physical violence happened only a few times — but the emotional manipulation was constant. He was addicted to pain pills, drank often, and created an environment of fear and confusion.
“I acted out in school. I didn’t know how to talk to loved ones because of how he talked to my mom,” Martha said. “You’re always battling mentally — trying to figure out which side to choose. But how does a child pick a side between their mom and dad?”
Read Megan Kelly’s blog series: “Letters to My Daughters”
The Lasting Impact | “The longer you wait, the harder it is to get out”
Even after her father’s death in 2021, Martha still carries the weight of those years. Trust is hard. Relationships are complicated. But she’s certain of one thing: “I will never depend on a man. My mom didn’t have a job and had to depend on him — I won’t let that happen to me.”
Her advice to women in abusive relationships is simple, but urgent:
“I know you stay because you think it’s easier and you want to keep the family together. But just leave — because we see it. No matter how much you hide it, we see it. And the longer you wait, the harder it is to get out. They’re not going to change.”
MORE: Protective order ignored: Central couple found dead weeks after domestic violence arrest
A Mother’s Hard Choice
Martha’s mother eventually found the courage to leave. She still faced harassment and manipulation afterward, but she tells her daughter it was the best decision she ever made.
“At least we had years to heal and process it,” Martha said. “If she had waited until we were grown, it would’ve been even harder. It gets a lot worse before it gets better — but it’s worth it.”
MORE FROM UWK: Surge in Baton Rouge domestic violence murders highlights crisis as Louisiana ranks 5th nationally for homicides
A Plea for Action
Louisiana’s domestic violence epidemic is not just a problem between two adults — it’s an environment children grow up in, shaping their behavior, relationships, and mental health for years to come.
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, call the Louisiana Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-888-411-1333 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Martha’s message is clear:
Your children see more than you think. They remember more than you realize. And they need you to leave more than you know.
Recognizing the signs of abuse and offering support to those in dangerous situations could save lives. The message remains clear: anyone can be a victim, and everyone has a role to play in preventing further tragedy. If you see something, say something.
In the Baton Rouge area, the IRIS Domestic Violence Center is a shelter for women, men, their children and even pets. They also have a 24-hour hotline 225-389-3001.
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